Saturday, March 08, 2008

Just things... @ 3/08/2008 10:12:00 PM

"PRIDE KILLS LOVE"
one of the many things i learned from ms. elena- my 1st year english teacher.

the quote's quite right. my life's in a pretty darn mess right now. i guess everything i tried to stop early this year ended up hitting me at the last days of mysophomore year. i am trying to make everything better, but no matter how hard i try, i just end up "sticking" to it. i get scared, afraid, coward. whatever. i just get too afraid that people will get mad at me (i know it's so wrong to think that way) pero ayoko lang tlg ng feeling na may nagagalit sakin or may nasakatan ako. siguro hindi ko lang talaga ma take yung guilt. nagkakaron ng superiority complex.. inferiority complex.

too much crappy things that makes my life too crappy. amp.
ang dami daming problemang nagpapatong patong.

first, i have this "guy bestfriend" (the heck! kilala nyo na naman cguro kung sino).
yes, i still consider this as a problem cause typically, hindi pa kami ayos! kahit na anong mangyari, hindi nababalik yung old us. yung tipong we can be just anything we could be to each other. no hard feelings, totally honest-us. thigs got really messy. i just value our friendship too much for me to be so angry siguro. and i know i have my own mistakes, i know na dapat akong mag forgive kasi hindi naman nya talaga kasalan.. kaso kasi... yung friendship yung mawawala.

next, this thing with my friends. (not gonna tell)
it's just that it's so hard to just TALK to them. and it's really really hard. it's hard to be the underdog sometimes. (again, won't expound)

next, KABUTE AND MARTYR FRIEND!
gahd. tearing my ***** apart! not to mention, THE (my) most important (special) friend ever!!!! can't believe "HIM" and his "mushroom" popping out together like this is a happy place though it is but not for them. don't ever (EVER) try messing with my friends. anyway, everything's a little light right now. nobody's calling at the middle of the night telling me that they're totally annoyed! :)) it's quite good... and better hope it is until summer comes. oh yeaaahhh.

another next, this thing with someone. hm. i can't actually "expose" this to the world wide web coz i've exposed it to only 2 people. but actually, where it started from?? uhm. it actually started with a lot of people talking to me saying this "stuff" and i was TOTALLY okay about it. but before that(!), actually that was 2 days before the "people" and i had a talk. i can't tell what i was really feeling. i can't look at "someone" nor talk to the "others!" this is quite confusing right? told you i wasn't going to "expose". anyway, this is just really a "thing" not a big thing or maybe a small thing, just a medium thing. :) i just hope it could be "answered" already. i'm tired of guessing. and to all those who recieves my gm's.. the quote "i guess it's my turn to miss you right now." is for this "someone"!! so STOP GUESSINGGGG!! :D

another next, actually... this something is special, i'll right it in another post. this could be the "waoh"-est thing i have ever done. but i think it would do be good nrn. :) completely positive about this.

lastly, THE REQUIREMENTS! it's freakin' me out! i have a week to complete everything! and a weekend to study for the final exams! totally... HELL!!


ps: at least something's keeping me so happy everytime. i actually have this therapy ever since i was... 11 yrs old? idk. i just have this TV therapy. i mean, you know what that guy in oscar said.. "a movie is something that could take you places. you actually forget about your problems.." it wasn't really like that but that guy is right. movies or tv shows, i think they were made not only for entertaiment, they came to us to let us dream for a while. remind us that there is something good left when you think your world is a crappy hell like mine. :) but i LOOOOOVE my crappy hell. :) anyway, before, i used to watch late night shows to make me feel better, OTH.. they were pretty GREAT!! :PP hahaha. ngayon, ang childsih ko naman, i watch hannah montana! :)) kasi ang cute. yeah, seriously.. i got so HOOKED. =)) JILEY is so sweet. anyway, see.... i'm happy. :) no matter how hard life is.. there'd always be reasons (childish or not) to keep you smiling. so bear with me. :P