Wednesday, October 31, 2007

falling out of love. @ 10/31/2007 11:20:00 AM

do you even believe in this phrase?
i mean, do you think that it is possible to FALL OUT OF LOVE?
we were playing icebreaker last last night when we suddenly picked a card with the same topic. i answered first, i said.. "kapag nag-fall ka na ulit for someone else."
my bestfriend suddenly contradicted me. she said "diba nga sabi nila, di ka talaga nagfa-fall out of love? it's either nagle-lessen lang o kaya lumalakas lang."

i guess its true. na realize ko na "oo nga naman, we can't possibly lose the LOVE"
there are these people whom we can NEVER forget. we can never lose that feeling for them. no matter how angry or mad we are to them, we can't take away the fact that we STILL do love them. either a friend, a love one or that special someone. we would always carry that feeling with us. and yes, it would either weaken or strengthen.

LIKING someone is way way way way different from LOVING one.
liking someone can be simply admiring one. :) i mean, i never did believe in love at first sight. coz if you would end up in the end, your first glance could NEVER EVER be love. c'mon, you don't even know a person then you just fall for him/her?!

i'm pretty pissed with guys who courts you but there's actually no love. i mean, courting you first before even falling in love! that's bullshit! girls (except whores and sluts) are very very sensitive creatures. some may say that girls are too complicated, but they are just CAREFUL with their hearts. because when a girl loves someone, she assures it that she loves no one else but that person.

i NEVER liked jerks.
but i LOVED one. or LOVE. i guess when you love someone, you do crazy things. insane things. no matter how much you hate it to be in love with that person, you just can't lose that feeling. love comes when you least expect it.
you may be stupid when you're in love, but sometimes, it's all you can do to hold on to it. no matter how hard it is to do it, when you love a person, nothing seems wrong, nothing seems impossible.

they say that time will dry the tears,
but true love burns for a thousand years.



until i get over you. ♥

Lord, wait lang po please? :) @ 10/31/2007 09:42:00 AM

lahat tayo may gustong marating bago tayo mamatay. parang isang to-do list para maging masaya tayo bago tayo kunin ni Lord diba? well.. gusto ko lang naman i-share yung akin.

-gusto kong' mag debut at ikasal muna. :) syempre gusto ko magkaron ng bonggacious na party. that's every girl's dream. to go on with her adult life and to be married and have kids dba. :) gusto ko lang ma feel yung feeling na yun. na it's my special day.
-gusto kong' makapag sky diving. greatest fear ko ang falling, kaya sobrang takot ako dito. pero gustong-gusto ko talaga siyang ma experience kahit delikado. :) parang once in a lifetime lang kasi eeh. ayoko nang palampasin toh. :P
-i wanna meet ALL my favorite bands.
-meet some of the legends. :)
-maging kumpleto yung barkada/tropa ko. kasi nung naging close na kami. parang dun palaging nagkakahiwalay. never kaming' nagkaron ng kunpletong picture. basta, gusto kong' maranasan ulit yung sobrang dami namin tapos nagsasaya lang kami. :) just like before.
-gusto kong' makagawa ng isang movie. i've always wanted to be part of the media world. kahit director okay na. :))

but before i die, there's this one thing i really wanna do. siguro kasi, part na nito lahat ng di ko pa nasasabi.
I REALLY WANNA TRAVEL THE WHOLE WORLD.
gusto kong' makita yung iba't ibang beauty na this world can offer. everything that i can see in books and movies. yun bang "alam kong' ang dami daming histories nung lugar na toh, and i can't believe i'm here" na feeling. i wanna see the aurora borrealis (northern lights). i really really do. :) gusto kong' makita lahat ng mga bagay na hindi ko masyadong nakikita everyday. gusto kong' ma-meet yung mga tao na iba sa akin. gusto kong' malaman yung mga cultures nila, customs and everything that they do. gusto kong' makita lahat ng historical landmarks. gusto kong' matikman yung iba't ibang pagkain nila. i just want to travel, see and know the world. i wanna help street children too. bago ako mamatay, gusto ko nakagawa ako ng difference dito sa mundo. i just wanna leave my mark here.. gusto kong' mkagawa ng tama.

i wanna die HAPPY. :)

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

girlfriends galore. @ 10/30/2007 12:41:00 PM

i am having the greatest sembreak so far. ang daming pasaway na happenings eeh. :)

MONDAY.
may practice kami for our ap aca week presentation. sayaw: ARAY. kamusta namn ang title diba? :)) 7am-7pm yung practice, pero dumating ako mga 8:30 ata. hahaha. pero okay pa naman kasi di pa rin naman sila kumpleto nun. hahaha. so nung dumating so mommie shirra, nag decide na kaming mag start. nakakahilo yung steps grabe. for two minutes lang ata yung sayaw, nakakalito pero nakakahilo rin. gahd. kaya ayun, practice pa ng practice. nag lunch kami, tapos dumating si charmaine. hahaha. so, more practice hanggang sa nagsawa na kami. and the fun part beginds. :D

total mga around 1-2pm pa lang nun, nag decide kaming mag sm. :) no transpo, kaya nag jeep kami (ako, jesha, shirra, bianca, charmaine). nauna na kasi sina lexxi at ate lina dun. so nag jeep kami. medyo drizzling pa. tsssk. mga pasaway talaga. ahaha. bumaba na kami sa sm, tapos nag hiwalay muna kami. kasi nagutom kami. eeh trip nilang mag auntie anne's. kami ni bianxx mcdo. namali pa nga kami ng pinuntahan eeh. hahaha. ayun. kumakain na kami ni bianxx tapos nag decide sila manood ng movie. :) UNREST. nandun na sina ate lina at lexxi. pero nagkahiwa-hiwalay kami. sa baba sila, sa taas kami. ayun, go parin kahit ano mangyare. :P maganda naman yung movie. eager na eager kami pa kaming manood kasi nakakainlove yung dalawang lead eeh. ang cute nila. sabik kami, in short. :)) tpos yun, si bianca, text lang ng text. hahah. natapos na yung movie, tapos nagpunta kaming auntie anne's. paikot-ikot lang kami nun. hanggang sa umuwi bumalik na kami sa bahay ni jesha. commute na naman. kinuha ko lang yung bag ko tapos umalis na rin ulit kami ni shirra. nag trike kami hanggang sa may labasan. tapos nag bus hanggang casimiro. tapos naghiwalay na kami. nag commute na lang ako papuntang augustus st kasi sleepover ako kina lish.

pagdating ko dun, andun sina kat, aya, lish, mikee, chol, jel, josh and sam. kaya hinayupak muna nila ako. hahah. bruhaa. tapos binigay nila sakin yung bday gift nila sakin which was last august pa. hahaha. bumili muna kam nina cholo at mikee. tapos dumating so mangu at robert. yun, usap. tas umalis na rin sila. tapos yun, naglaro kami ng "kindat". tapos nag volleyball kami. triny namin mag counter strike pero puno yung comp shop. amp. yun, volleyball na lang talaga kami napadpad.

hanggang sa umuwi na rin kami. i mean, pumunta na kina lisha. iniwanan na namin yung three boys dun sa labas.

nung andun na kami, naligo muna ako. haha. kasama ko bestfriend ko sa banyo. nagkwentuhan lang kami dun. :))
tapos yun, nag icebreaker kami sa kwarto ni lish. laswaa ng mga sagot ni aya eeh. hahhaha. kaso nagala-cinderella si aya. 12am pa lang umuwi na siya. hinatid namin. tapos nanuod ng noypi. hanggang sa nakatulog ako bigla. amp. :s

TUESDAYmorning
7am na kami nakagising. tapos nag breakfast kami. tapos nag counter strike kami. weee. go terro. :) pinuntahan namin si aya. nagBROWNIES kami. tapos nagkwentuhan lang. pagdating namin sa taas, gumawa kami ng mga scandal. :)) kung anu-ano pinagrerecord record namin eeh. hanggang sa umuwi na rin ako.
there goes everything. okay pa naman so far. :P sayang nga eeh. di ko nakita ng buo yung TK ko. i miss them so much. dami dami eeh. hahaha.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

just can't do it baby. :( @ 10/28/2007 09:45:00 PM

I CANT GET OVER HIM.

parang everytime na pinapakinggan ko yung wait for you, parang SIYA lang ng SIYA yung lumalabas sa utak ko.
yung nangyari nung January. everything is just popping in my mind. :( all those cold nights, those bright lights. EVERYTHING that happened and everything that was part of it. it's funny how i can remember everything. how i can be so sure of everything that happened. how i STILL care and think about all those. siguro kasi, those memories were all that's left during those January days.

memory lane muna tayo aah. :P
nung unang time akong napatitig sa kanya, hahaha. mga first week yun ng SY. gwapo kasi eeh. kaya napasulyap ako. hahaha. tapos one time, nung nag-mass kami.. sabi ni kai sakin, "kamshi, gwapo yun oh!" sabi ko.. "oo nga eeh, di ko cnb sa inyo nun kasi baka sabihin niyo panget naman!" :)) joketime moments. pero nwala lang din yun agad, kasi nagka-crush na si kaii sa kanya eeh. pero di ako nagalit kay kaii nun aah. baka isipin niyo ganun. todo support pa nga ako dun sa kanilang dal'wa eeh. hahaha.

one time, nag away pa kami ni kaii. desperate talaga ako nun. tapos nag-buzz siya. tapos he helped me.. sabi ko.. "pano pag magalit siya sakin? etc." (praning kasi ako nun eh), tapos sabi niya.. "ano ka ba, kung kaibigan mo naman yun, di yun magagalit eeh! tawagan mo na!" and to think, yung kanta nun, BECAUSE YOU LIVE. "because you live, and breathe, because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help." :P tapos tinawagan ko nga si kaii, okay naman. sabi niya, "sabi ko sayo eeh! :D"

alala ko pa nga nung unang time na nag-usap kami sa YM eeh. sinave ko pa. :)) stupid. hahaha. tapos nag prank call pa kami ni kaii.
hanggang sa yun na nga, chat chat, aminan. kaso nakaka heartbreak rin yung mga panahon na yun eh. pero ayos lang, it felt so great. :) mga tawagan sa phone pag gabi. parinigan ng mellow songs. tapos tawanan. :(( nakaka-miss. napaka okay nung feeling na yun. someone like him, feeling the same with someone like me.

hanggang sa slowly, nage-end siya dahil sa mga away namin. nung february, bitter na. parang sbrang cold namin. nagalit talaga ako sa kanya nun, pero di ko naman maikakaila na di siya ma-miss. na di ko siya gustong kausapin, pero that was it.. i waited for something to heppen, pero who am i kidding, if something's never going to happen, then why should i even try? it was going to be over soon... sad story. nung march, i was thankful na summer was coming, kasi i can forget about him. i saw his message in friendster, nangangamusta, pero di ko pinansin. amp. medyo nakalaya ako nung summer, nakalimot nga ako. pero nung nagstart na ulit yung school year, nakakalito. happy ako and all, pero seeing him totally messed me up. for the past few months, crush thing lang. marami-rami rin naman nangyari this past few months. pero hanggang dun lang eeh. nashare ko rin naman sa kanya yung mga sikreto ko. akala ko nga rin nakapag move on na ako nun eeh. something happened din kaya medyo bumalik yung feeling. tapos yun, nakapag chat rin kami. and there was this LAST time na nagchat kami, everything was okay during that time. but eveything also changed after that. never talked to him after that day. hanggang sa tingin na lang uli. just like before, during the first few weeks of my freshmen year. :(





baby, i will wait for you♥

first few days of the sem.. @ 10/28/2007 05:56:00 PM

wala naman masyadong nanyare.

saturday, nagising lang ako ng maaga. tapos nag computer magdamag. pumunta dito si kuya NJ. :) hahaha. amp, ang thoughtful nun kahapon. hahaha. tapos napaka maldita ko pa. argh. kasi umuwi sya ng maaga from his school para lang samahan ako dito kasi ako lang mag-isa sa bahay. awww. :) tapos yun. computer pa rn. argh. ang sama sama ko talaga. amp yan. nasa bahay rin ni cuz, hanggang gabi. :)) nung gabi, tinamad na ako mag pc. kaya nanuod na lang ako ng dvd. :) tapos di pa rin ako nakuntento, after ko manood ng PIRATES... of the carribean, CLICK naman. which is a good movie. kaso, heartbreak eeh. :)) don't ask. :P

sunday.. wala akong masabi. OVER sa lamig ngayong gabi. senti night ngayon eeh. wala na akong ibang ginawa kundi makinig sa "wait for you". oooh. i love that song naa. super much. whhaaaa. i miss the cold nights nung mid january. :( brigantes days. hahaha. syempre may kasabayan yun. :P

iba na talaga pag nag-aakala @ 10/28/2007 04:59:00 PM

haii nako. andame dami ko nang pinoproblema at may isang asungot na feeling niya isa siya sa pinoproblema ko. HAHAHAHAHA. loka eeh. kala mo naman importante. :) well, siguro nga akala niyo importante sya kasi nagsasayang ako ng oras sa pagttype tungkol sa kanya, pero what the heck, TRIP ko eeh. >:) hahahaha. aii nako.

you all know na i'm in the "sulk stage" ngayon. kaya ang kapal naman niyang ipaligo sa buong mukha ko na napaka BIG DEAL niya para sakin. wahehehe. joketime talaga yung stat niya nun eeh. pati rin yung blog niya. amp, yung big deal lng naman dito, INNAWAY NIYA MGA KAIBIGAN KO. taena, kasalanan naman niya yun eh! kasalanan niya, na di niya ina-admit. tae, pinapahirapan pa niya yung taong naapektuhan ng simpleng katangahan niya. tsssskk. aii nako, JOKETIME tlaga yung blog niya. pasikot-sikot pa eeh. dun sa f***** topic lang namn mapapadpad.

naaawa takaga ako dun sa taong naapektuhan. oo, badtrip rin ako dun, pero kawawa siya eeh. tapos dahil dun sa problema nilang dalawa, pati mga kaibigan kong' nag-eenjoy lang nung mga oras na yun, nadamay. AMP!! iba na talaga ang buhay ngayon, lahat gagawin mo para may maisama ka pababa kahit papano. pra di ka mag-isang babagsak.

oh well.. ganyan talaga siya. i do not hate her. i just PITY her, kasi nobody's there to save her from all the wrongs she had been doing. ewan ko ba. pero sobrang miserable na ata nung buhay nia kaya she wants so much attention. kahit na gumawa sya ng masama, gagawin niya para lang mapansin. kawawa naman. :(

isa pang issue, eto namang babaeng toh. ang yabang naman niya. di porket napaka sosyal na niya, pwede na siyang tumapak ng ibang tao. tsssk.
kasi naman, i've been making this video for street children.. o=) and i know how hard it is to be in there place. eeh etong babaeng toh, masyado niyang minamaliit yung mga mahihirap. grabe, parang napaka taas niya para manapak ng ibang tao eeh. di naman sa kanya tong' mundong toh, pero feeling niya siya at mga kauri niya lang ang pwedeng pumunta sa "lugar" na yon. mygosh. greedy much? ayy nde, FEELER lang talaga. kawawa talaga ang mga naaapi. :(

haii nako. kai's line: "di umuunlad ang Pilipinas dahil sa mga taong katulad nyo"
korek ka diyan kamshi! iba na talaga ang nagagawa ng pag-aakala.

okay guys, wag tumulad. :)

i'll take my chances with you. @ 10/28/2007 04:20:00 PM

"i never felt nothing in the world like this before,
now i'm missing you and i'm wishing you would come back through my door"

ever been in love this much?
yung sobrang kaya mong' maghintay..
kaya mong' talikuarn at i-give up ang lahat..
kaya mong' tiisin lahat ng sakit?

mahirap, oo. pero NEVER ko talagang naramdaman toh. yung tipong i CAN love that someone forever. whatever it takes, as long as it's him, wala akong pake.
andami ko nang kinausap tungkol dito, dami na rin kumausap sakin. tulad na lang ni charmi at shirra, na may experience na. si nina at russel naman, na sinasabing mag let go ako. pero sorry sorry talaga russ and nina, DI KO KAYA. sorry kung sususwayin ko kayo.

sabi sakin ni nina, masamang maglagay ng false hope dito sa puso ko. i KNOW she's right. i really really know that i should let go, pero paranag ayaw ng puso ko eeh. yung tipong ayos na ayos lang sa kanyang magtiis. i can't tell where i can go with this. whether i'd end up losing him, gaining him or just hurt or loved. as long as he's happy, i can be happy too. i do not intend to tore them apart, i'm just happy for him. tulad ng sinabi ko sa kanya dati, masaya na ako para sa knya. and i would always do.

it's because of him kaya di ko ma-open yung heart ko for others. kaya ayoko magka boyfriend. kasi kung ganun yung magaganap, i know that i'm just gonna lie and break that someone's heart kasi i know na magiging panakip-butas lang sila kasi "siya" pa rin. ayoko mapalitan yung memories namin. ayokong gawin ko ulit yun with someone else kasi those were OUR memories. ayokong may pumalit sa pwesto niya then ruin all those memories. i'm protecting them coz aside from this feeling, those were the only things i can keep from our past. it's just so hard to let it go.

never been in love this much? :D
it's a lot of risk, pero somehow, you can prove something to yourself. how much you LOVE that person, that even the thought of losing all your memories can break your heart. :)

"baby, i will wait for you."♥

Saturday, October 27, 2007

baby i will wait for you.. @ 10/27/2007 08:26:00 PM

minsan masasabi mo naman kung gaano mo kamahal yung isan tao eeh. oo, di mo kayang label-an. kasi syempre, pabago bago rin naman nararamdaman mo. pero ayos lang ba kung sabihin kong' SOBRA SOBRA? yung tipong kaya kong magpaka-numb sa lahat lahat? :(
oo, SUPER SAKIT. pero ayos lang. ewan ko ba kung bakit ganito. ilang tao na nagsasabi sakin mag move on. tatlo lang nagsabi na hold on.

ewan ko ba kunag ba't ganito, pero ayos lang naman sakin mag hold on. kahit na lam ko consequences ng mga desisyon ko. haiii. prang i just want to hold on dito hanggang sa makita ko si mr.forever ko. pero kung sakalin siya yun. eh di mas maganda. :) pero kung di naman, okay lang.. at least nag hold on ako sa something na worth fighting for. gulong-gulo na ako sa laht, alam ko lang, AYAW kong' bumitaw. AYAW kong kalimutan yung memories natin. at mas lalong AYAW kong mawala tong' feeling na toh.

last week before sembreak. @ 10/27/2007 08:20:00 PM

aiii grabe, kwinento ko na yung nanyare kahapon pero yung last week ko di ko nakwento. hahaha.
oh eto naa.

MONDAY
out with the batch, field trip!
ang aga aga ko nagising nun. kasi unahan maging kumpleto para di mahati eeh. :P hahaha.
ayun, second to the last kami bago makumpleto. amp. hahaha. pero ayos lang naman. at least kumpleto pa rin. napunta kami dun sa igan bus. "the friendly bus" pa nga nakalagay eeh. hahaha. sayang, di kami napunta sa seton bus. anyway, ayun...katabi ko si anlo. chikahan. hahaha. ang layo layo nga nina kai at daniel eeh. di ko tuloy makwentuhan. :)) at least malapit sakin si bianca at inna. sbrang kwentuhan. :P

nag stop over muna kami sa jollibee.
tapos unang destinasyon! WELCOME TO MORONG! :)) dalawang simbahan pinuntahan namin. ayun, ikot-ikot.

tapos nag caving na kami! medyo nag lakad muna kami ng mga 1km. hahaha. ewan ko kung gaano kahaba yun bsta sbrang HABBAAAAA!! bago makapunta sa cave. tas nung andun na kami sa cave, ayun. ang sayasaya. di lang naki-join yung flashlight ko. haha. flashpen kasi eeh. liit liit. di talaga sya masyadong helpful nun. hahaha. so, enjoy naman yung cave. mas ma-adventure kesa dun sa biak-na-bato namin last year. mas mahaba din. hahaha. tulungan din kami nun. ang scary pa nung cave, may multo daw. :s
tapos ayun, bumalik na kami. lakad na naman. T_T

nag waterfalls na kami pagtapos. saya eeh. tatlo kaming sections na nagsheshare dun sa kung ano mang tawag mo sa anyong tubig na yun. hahaha. bsta nasa ilalim kami ng falls. senti senti. omg, saya eeh. :) tapos yun. charge, lunuran, manulak, harutan. ganun palagi scenario. :))

so nagpalit na kami sa bus. shyet. kalbaryo yun. :)) tapos yun, pauwi. andaming kababalaghan nanyare. mga nawawalang kagamitan.

bus ride to manila. nanuod lang kaming jeepers creepers. maraming tulog. tapos nung medyo huli, eragon naman pinanuod. tapos kwentuhan na lang kami nina islau. :)) sayasaya nun eeh. tapos ayun, natapos na yung fieldtrip namin nung nag ghost stories si kuya macoy. joketime eeh, :P

TUESDAY
wala naman masyadong nanyare.
mahirap yung radicals sa math, as usual. T_T

WEDNESDAY
wala rin masyado nanyare. di kami nakapag laro ng volleyball sa zl kaya laht kami tinamad. wala nga nakikinig nung reporting eeh. nung free period ko naman, nag bigayan ng report card. yeheay, tumaas ako sa bio. :) tapos nagtaasan lahat ng grades ko except sa PEHM. ano ba yun!!!!! kainis eeh. kung ano pa talaga gusto ko, dun ako bumababa. T_T tapos nung art, ayun... drawing ng super hero.

THURSDAY
grabe, HEARTBREAK tong' araw na toh eeh. actually nung lunchtime. dto na nagsimulang gumunaw ang mundo ko. haha. joke. bsta, yun yon. masaya lang nung filipino time eeh. naglaro kami nung mini sportsfest. :P una kong' laro volleyball. tae, talo kami ng mga lalaki, samantalang last quarter lang, VOLLEYBALL topic namin sa pe eeh. tapos second game ko, basketball.. woohoo, at least nakaka shoot. :P pero talo pa rin kami. ayun, pumunta si aya sa school nun eeh. so nag usap na lang kami afterwards. tapos hanggang 6pm ako. kaya chismaxx na lang with the boys and charmaine. :P

ayun, there goes my week. :P

Friday, October 26, 2007

creed pins for ushers @ 10/26/2007 09:29:00 PM

ayun, natapos na rin ang isang super duper last week ng october. :) hahahaha. joketime naman. medyo malamig every morning. mga panibagong characters ng buhay ko. mga nandun naman dati pa, tapos nagbabalik muli. hahahah. ewan. anyways, grabe, sakit na naman ng paa ko. usherette thing. :) hahahha. masaya naman eeh. kainis lang dun, lahat naguuwian ng 2:20, samantalang kami... 7pm. may bagong dagdag, si dani at aaron. :) tapos nakilala ko na rin yung mga dtai. and more pa pala, di ko pa namemeet. ahaha. so, na assign ako sa 1st year. shyet, andame! grabe talaga. tapos tagal pa makipag usap ng mga teachers. nauna na kami kumain ni alyanna, tapos sina ate lourds, kuya cy at kuya carlo na rin. haii. kakaba talaga yun mga parents dun. tapos yun, hanggang sa magsi-six na pala. okay na... tapos na rin sa wakas. parang nag ghost hunting pa ata kami. hahaha. so... tma sina ate mela eeh, dapat may CREED pin lahat ng ushers and usherettes. hahahaha. saya nun, dami dami namin sa stage uma-umaga. meron pa ngang plano na iwala lahat ng wallet namin tas may magdradrama, tas makikita rin namin. ahahha. joketime. anyway, family na rin naman ata. hahahaha. jooookkkeee. saya kasi eeh, parang magiging matagal kayong magsasama sama. :) cuteness. sayang gagraduate na sina ate gz this year. huhuhuhu. parang last pre-ptc ko nga lang sya nakilala eh.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

so not the time @ 10/20/2007 04:36:00 PM

dati, kausap ko si aya, and everytime she asks me about something, sasabihin ko dun sa "something" na yun, di pa ako ready eeh. ewan ko kung bakit ganun. ayokong ma istorbo lately. i'm trying to look for something pero wala. ayoko. lately, i've been confused about a lot of things. di ko alam kung ano ba talagang kailangan kong gawin. parang dumaan ng sobrang bilis yung panahon. parang one time, kasama ko lang mga kaibigan ko, going on gigs, tapos biglang di ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko. i'm having fun with all these mtv things. especially aca week. palapit na ng palapit. more practices and performances. pero buhay BUSY yun. tsaka it's not really my life. i want my simple real life. friends, family, LOVE. pero walang wala ngayon. i seriously don't wanna rush slash entertain. ewan ko ba. either i'm STILL holding on to something.. or i'm barely holding on to nothing. ewan ko ba. basta i'm freakin' not ready.

Friday, October 19, 2007

TGIF! @ 10/19/2007 06:53:00 PM

blog ako ng blog, pero di naman masyado sa buhay ko.. nung wednesday, wla naman masyado nanyare. nag URINALYSIS kami sa science. nag orientaion sa field trip. tapos, nag drawing ng lib. ID sa art class. kahapon naman (thursday).. wala rin masyado.. di ko nga na feel yung kahapon eeh. nag kite flying uli kami sa filipino. ahahaha. joke time yung kina patrick eeh. priceless talaga yun scene na yun. kasi ang taas taas na nung saranggola nila tapos si patrick, release ng release ng thread, tinutulungan siya ni sir martin. tapos bglang wala naa..

sir martin: ayy patri...
patrick: hala hala hala!(kamay sa ulo, hinahabol yung kite)

.. yung kite, lumagpas sa bubong ng HS building! astiiiigg!

hahahaha. pero syempre di na siya babalik..

tapos nag shibashi na kami. pero may commotion muna. di pwede sabihin eeh. private.

tas yun. FRIDAAAYYY!
buti na lang shortened period ulit kami. :P

math. solve solve sa mga problems about radical expressions.
science. retake ng quiz. (asar ako sa sarili ko, napasa ko yung kahapon, yung re-take nde.)
recess. bunutan ng mga katabi sa fieldtrip. katabi ko si anlo. :)
ap. discussion. T_T
p.e. arnis.
lunch! kumain sa tambay spot namin ng pshakes ko, tapos nag practice ng play.
eng. yeay! successful yung play! ang galing mo Ianne! cute pa namin nun. o:)

dismissal!

nag volleyball muna kami sa acacia lane. tapos pumunta na kami (ako, kai, abby, celina, tata, charmi, shirra, jesha) kina jesha. nag chinese garter sila tapos ako learning cartwheel. ahahhaah. tapos dumating na sina Ianne, Gab at Dan. pumunta na kami sa court. shooting shooting. wala namang pumapasok. ahahahahaha.
tapos dumating na sina Kevin, Mitch, Jasper, Gelo, Reyben, Dan. hahahahha. astig eeh. nung una, tigiisang court kami. tae, nadapa ako. sinalubong kasi ako ni abby. lagupak yung tuhod ko sa semento eeh! straight forward! si kai naman sa mukha! ayy jusko! so laro pa rin kami.. kaso nabutas bola nung mga boys. so join in na. pilian kami ni tata. so ayun.. go, laro laro. mixed eeh. alam na naming matatalo kami sa sports fest sa thursday. pero sure, go.

ayun, umuwi na sina kevin nun. natira na lang sina ianne, gab at dan. tapos yung mga girls. CHISMAXX! syempre, TC tradition na eeh. tapos umuwi si kaii. MORE CHISMAXX. tapos kumain kami ng pizza. umakyat sa pc room, diniscuss nila yung mtv nila. GROUP ONE KASI SILA. ako lang grp.2 dun. tas yun. ako na lang natira. pinanuod na lang namin ni jesha yung band behind the band. ang gwapo mo PAPA KYLE!!! :P

there's my friday, spending time with my "di-masyadong-ka-close" friends. astig eeh. getaway ng girls and boys. :)

Thursday, October 18, 2007

maybe we're trying too hard, maybe we're torn apart. @ 10/18/2007 09:06:00 PM

HAII. step by step. i'm fulfilling my dreams on filmography. ahahaha. sa wakas, natapos rin namin yung storyboard sa mtv. pero di pa BUO. kasi kailangan pa namin ng mas maraming kaekekan. ang astig talaga nung story namin. pero kwento ko na lang dito pag tapos na. kasi syempre, secret muna.:p panuorin niyo muna yung mtv diba. :P btw, DIRECTOR'S CUT by KAMIKAZEE yung music. hehehehehe.

sa sbrang saya ko, naisipan ko rin gawan ng mtv yung mary jane at empty ng the click five. wanna know? eto pwede ishare. :P

unang song yung "mary jane"..
tapos magigising yung girl, pero di niya alam kung nasan siya.. tapos may mga bagay bagay sa paligid niya, tapos everytime na hinahawakan niya, may naaalala siya. tapos magsstart na yung music. babalik siya sa past. magkasama sila nung guy.. parang "forever" sila. pero nakipagbreak yung girl kasi KAILANGAN niyang iwanan si guy. labag sa loob niya yun, pero kailangan niya. so nagbago siya. parang "belong" na siya this time. tapos may isang guy na magiinsert, pero PANAKIP BUTAS niya lang. tapos tinanong pa ni guy2 si girl1 kung pwede siyang maging date sa prom, tapos pumayag yung girl sa harap ni guy1. kaya ouch. parang nagiiyak si girl sa cr.. tapos si boy1 parang naglalalakad sa campus (emo). tapos yun, prom na. tinitignan ni girl si boy1. tapos sumayaw na sila ni boy2. pero sa sbrang konsensya, nagbalik lahat ng memories nila. parang nung nagsasasayaw sila ni boy1 noon, pretending na prom night na. tapos nagbigay pa ng flower na white si boy1 sa kanya. tapos yun, di na nakayanan ni girl yung lahat ng conscience, kaya iniwanan niya si boy2 in the middle of the dance. instrumental part na kasi toh kaya medyo climatic. so lumabas sya tapos tumatakbo, hinahanap si boy1. tapos nakita niya sa labas ng school, across the street. tapos nagsmile siya. medyo slow-mo toh aah. tapos papalapit na sana siya, bglang nasagasaan siya. tapos yun, nilapitan siya ni guy1 tapos iyak. emote. hanggang sa huli, may letter na nilagay si boy1 sa kamay ni girl, yun yung "forever" letter niya kay girl na ginawa niya kasi na realize niya na di niya kayang mag let go. tapos mageend na yung song.

pero di pa yung mtv. bglang iintro yung empty. tapos magigising ulit yung girl, ieexplain na nito yung AFTER nung incident. so, nalilito siya kung bakit siya andun. nakita niya yung bracelet na suot niya nung accident. tapos nakita niya yung guy. parang nilapitan niya. pero di siya nakikita nung guy. multo na yung girl. tapos parang nasaktan siya kasi di niya malapitan si guy. tapos pinapakita na alone si guy. tapos sinusundan lang siya ni girl. nasasaktan si girl everytime na may makikita si guy na magpapa remind sa knya about kay girl, tas maluluha. tapos uupo yung guy sa isang tabi. mag isa lang siya. tapos tinabihan siya ni girl. niyakap ni girl kahit na alam niyang di mararamdaman ni guy.. basta, you know the scene.

tapos sa kwarto ni guy, nabasa ni girl yung letter. tapos naiyak siya. nag paint siya ng painting, tapos sa ilalim nakalagay, "forever"... tapos makikita nung guy. tapos nandun yung sirl sa kama, nakaupo.. tas yung guy nakahawak sa painting tapos nakayuko. yun yung final pose.

---

grabe, HOPING na magawa ko. HOPE lang naman. :P

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

mary jane @ 10/17/2007 08:13:00 PM

I didn't cry the day you moved away
Didn't think that I would feel this pain
Until I saw the stranger that was you

Whatever happened to our innocence
And that something that you said about being friends
Tell me how
Help me say the words out loud

Could it be
That nothing's gonna change
Cuz time has got a way of taking back
Everything you thought you had
Can you see?
The girl you used to be
The one I lost when I let go of you
Or whatever happened to...
Mary Jane

I need to wake up from this state of mind
The situation is a staying kind
I gotta get your memory out of my head

Would you catch me if I had to fall
Would you even find the time without it all
Tell me how
Help me say the words out loud

Could it be
That nothing's gonna change
Cuz time has got a way of taking back
Everything you thought you had
Can you see?
The girl you used to be
The one I lost when I let go of you
Or whatever happened to...
Mary Jane

Cuz time is taking back
Everything I thought we had
Tell me how
(Mary Jane...)
Help me say the words out loud

Could it be
That nothing's gonna change
Cuz time has got a way of taking back
Everything you thought you had
Can you see?
The girl you used to be
The one I lost when I let go of you
Or whatever happened to...
Mary Jane

Or whatever happened to...
Mary Jane.

---

grabe. ideas poppin' out! :))
ang astig nung kanta eeh. :) suuuppeerr. parang ang tragic talaga. grabe...

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

alumni homecoming by parokya ni edgar @ 10/16/2007 10:56:00 PM

Napatunganga nung bigla kitang nakita
Pagkalipas ng mahabang panahon.
Highschool pa tayo nung una kang nakilala
At tandang tanda ko pa
Noon pa ay sobrang lupit mo na!
Hindi ko lang alam kung pano,
Basta biglang nagsama tayo
Di nagtagal ay napaibig mo ako!
Mula umaga hanggang uwian natin lagging
Magkasama tayong dalawa.

Parang kahapon lang nangyari
Sa kin ang lahat
Parang isang dulang medyo romantiko
Ang banat
Ngunit nung napag-usapan,
Bigla nalang nagkahiyaan

Bakit ko ba pinabayaan
Mawala ng hindi inaasahan
Parang nasayang lang.
Nawala na at wala nang nagawa!!!

Panay ang plano,
Ngunit panay ang urong at
Inabot na ng dulo ng taon!
Graduation natin nung biglang
Nag-absent partner ko.
TADHANA NGA NAMAN!
Naging mag-partner tayo!
Eksakto na ang timing!
Planado na ang sasabihin!
Ngunit hanggang huli, wala akong
Nasabi!

Napatunganga nung bigla kitang nakita
Pagkalipas ng mahabang panahon.
Sobrang alam ko na an aking sasabihin
At ako'y napailing sa ganda ng ngiti mo sa'kin
At nung ikaw ay nilapitan
Bigla na lang napaligiran ng iyong mga anak
Sa pangit mong asawa

---

haii. nagkita sila tapos flashback.
high school yung setup. tapos naging friends sila nung girl.. hanggang slowly, nag fall in love na si guy. tapos lagi na sila magksama. hanggang sa na chismax sila.. ayun. nagkailangan.

nag regret yung guy. ilang beses niyang pinagiisipan kung paano ulit kakausapin si girl. naging partners pa nga sila sa grad by fate eeh, pero wala pa rin talaga siyang nasabi. TORPE.

tapos natapos na yung flashback.
nag smile sa kanya yung girl, pero may family na pala siya.

---

sobrang nasasayangan talaga ako sa mga ganyan. kasi naman parang sobrang CLOSE na, kaso di natupad, tapos in the end, di rin sila. haii. life nga naman. sana talaga eto yung maging kanta namin. astig kasi PNE eh, tska trip ko yung kanta. ahahahha. ♥

happy birthday brother dear.. @ 10/16/2007 10:43:00 PM

yupyup. still up.
di ko pa nagagawa math homework ko. shocking. nako, di ko pa naman maintindihan yun. ang aga aga ko pa naman gumising. para na naman akong lantay na gulay pag gising ko bukas. i'm still listening to alumni homecoming.

patapos na birthday ni brother dear. kain lang naman kami dito. andito rin sina Joshua. wala sa Sam. haii. walang lasa yung strawberry juice. :P

andami ko biglang narealize. andami ko kasing inisip na "special people" dun sa art sketch na yun para sa art class namin. tatlo lang kasi.

so one slot left!! kung setonian ka, you have a chance, ;) hahahahah.feel-er eeh. di ko pa nga alam kung pano yung magaganap na shading na yun eh. hahahhaa. kaya ko yan. ako pa. :)

sobrang hirap ata nung magaganap na MTV namin for compZL. kasi di na nga kami happy sa groupings, di pa kami makapag decide. kaya GOODLUCK naman samin. sana final na yung alumni homecoming na kanta. sobrang astig kasi eeh. cute nung story. thanks thanks anlo. ka-miss si gab. napaka planado na kasi ng lahat. bglang DRAW LOTS. boooom... plans gone. haii.

anyway, antok na ako. ZL bukas. hooraaah. volleyball&&art. excited na ako. bukod sa pagkababad namin at reporting sa volleyball, makakapaglaro kami. yeayyy. tapos sa art, sana makasama na namin si sir p. astig kasi eeh. yung LAST SLOT na lang kulang ko. tapos na yung shading and coloring. open na auditions. ahahaha. joking.

after zl, yung Shibashi thing again. hahahahaha. 1hr lang naman yun. hanggang 6pm lang kami. cute nga eeh. 5 representatives kasi every section. para tuloy kaming isang buong section, all in white, nagsstretching at nagyo-yoga. cute talaga. *) ahahahaha.

tomorrow's 17, happy birthday Japs and Dan. :)

pushing me to my dreams. @ 10/16/2007 08:37:00 PM

i'm fourteen, and i have BIG dreams. but i feel so distant from these dreams. i feel like i can't fulfill them when i grow up. i have so many inspirations and i believe that ambitions and dreams can change. now, i think Med for me is just a security. i wanna do some stuff, but i have to work. i know its very early to be thinking about this stuff, but we should also SPEND OUR TIME wisely.

i have inspirations. and somehow, they're pushing me to achieve my dreams.
ate iman, as we all know, she's a great blogger, writer and friend. she writes about wonderful stuff, stuff that we might not understand right now, but maybe someday, we could. :P
ate bianca gonzalez, a great tv host, BLOGGER, and inspiration. yes, i've been reading her blog ever since the day i saw her url in candymag. and i was so amazed that every blog she wrote there touched me. it's been great, she's a really great role model. she like philosophy and photography too. but unlike her, i can't travel. traveling had been the greatest dream for me, but duh, for a kid my age, of course i can't. i just hope someday, i could TRAVEL THE WHOLE WORLD. :p take some photos, helping charity and those that went through some disasters, and question life. that's what i wanna do when i grow up.

i just wanna make my life simple when i grow up. i don't need much. as long as i have a plane ticket, camera, iPod(hahaah), and pc to share everything with you, i can survive. :P

it's already a great feeling when you get to touch lives. and just like ate iman and ate bianca gonzalez, i wanna touch lives someday as well. :P

alumni homecoming. @ 10/16/2007 07:16:00 PM

ahahahhaa. cute pala nung kanta na yon. :) yes naman. la lng, yun kasi yung pang-MTV namin eeh. grabe. sbrang badtrip talaga yun. we lost ALL our plans. pero we tried to work it out. sino ba namng ndi mapapagawa kung nasa stage kayo na boiling hot yung sahig?? hahahaha. gaaaabbbb.. :( anyway.. grabe, laughtrip rin pala yung pagpapalipad ng saranggola. ahahahaha. sbrang DOOMED to fly yung amin eeh. pero at least nanalo si Bluetiee (pangalan ng kite namin) ng 1st place sa pagandahan. gumawa rin kami ni abby ng kite eeh. isang pirasong papel + stem ng halaman. ahahahhaa. =di lumipad. :))

ayunn. la naman masyadong nanyare ngayon. Shibashi nung evening. tapos uwian. not so hyper. hehehhe..

Monday, October 15, 2007

preggers talaga oh. @ 10/15/2007 10:15:00 PM

hai.. what a day..
pagpasok ko sa school, di ko na mapigilan tumili at magkwento kay Justin. aahaha. sunod naman kay Emika. tapos kai Kai, at kay Nina. hayy grabe. nagklase na kami. feeling ko buong araw nung Computer time lang ako ginanahan eeh. :( mga sumunod na subjects, sbrang tamlay ko na. nung sumunod namin subject, Math, may bumulaga sa aking' bubble gum. badtrip siya eeh. todo linis ako ng desk ko. kainis! lagkit talaga. tapos english, diskusyon ng mga production team ekek. haiii. kinakanta ko na nga lang yung mga words sa likod ng CCF book eh. haahaha. akala na naman nina Gab, Gelo at Abby kung ano yun. haii. BUHAY MALIBOG. :P
LUNCHTIME!! nagmamadali akong papunta sa small canteen, kasi andun si Ma, dala yung kagamitan ko for Shibashi atska signing nung permit. ayun, bumili na akong limang piraso ng Siomai at isang Ice Tea na walang ICE. nakakahawa si kai aah. ahaha. tapos yun, first time maging kumpleto ng buong tropa. as in kaming EIGHT. :) [nina, kai, ako, emika, jazz, justin, tomi, at lacson] may picture pa. :) yesss.. ahahahaha. tapos yun, mga 1:3o pa lang bumalik na kami ni kaii kasi may "practice" raw. boo-hoo. tapos yun, science. tle. uwian (na dapat) pero may shibashi thing kami. lecture lecture lang pala ang first day. mga tipong "what is shibashi? where did it originate? who invented shibashi? the eighteen movements." whatever chuchu. basta yun yon. so, yun na... uwian. hayy grabe, ang tagal ni mommie. nagtitingin na nga lang kaming tatlo (ako, nina, kai) ng mga awards na naka post sa bulletin board atska naglakad lakad. hanggang sa ako yung natira.

hayy salamat, dumating na rin. mga 6:3o na yun. T_T

so, nalaman ko na may stat CS sa hospital. so kailangan ko sumama. nag drive through kami sa mcdo, for my dinner. tapos drive hanggang hospital. dun na rin ako sa ospital kumain. kainis eeh. dun ako sa "LABOR ROOM" kumain kung saan may nakalagay na "no foods and drink inside the LABOR ROOM". isa pa, katabi nung labor room na yun yung DELIVERY ROOM, kung saan may isang babaeng kapapanganak pa lang. haii jusko. bloody. and to think, i'm eating. T_T goodluck naman sakin diba. so, wait ako ng wait. may kasama ako sa room, isang preggers na OB GYNE, nakatulog siya. habang ako, nanonood ng Zaido. ahahahaha. hintay pa ako ng hintay. sobrang bukas kasi yung pintuan kaya kitang kita ko yung delivery room eh. umiinom pa naman ako ng hot chocolate. so ayun, mga 8pm na natapos si Ma, tapos naghintay pa ako sa car just to know na hinihintay lang pala ni Ma yung burger champ niya! :)) nagpakalunod na lang ako sa cd ko ng the click five. i so love it. ganda ng lahat ng meaning ng songs eh. :) tapos yun, uwi na kami. nakatulog ako. sbrang ihing ihi kasi ako eeh. MICTURITION! :)) tas yun. i got home, typing. :)

before and after the The Click Five concert. @ 10/15/2007 09:57:00 PM

haii grabe, kakagaling ko lang sa town. at doon nagiba ang mundo ko. kasi naman, dalw'ang linggo ko nang hinhintay tong' the click five concert na toh, duh, second favortie band ko sila eeh. tapos dahil sa mga nagkalecheleche kong' plano, poof! nawala lahat. naubusan ako ng ticket. haay nako, buti na lng andun si Jesha, nakakuha siya ng EXTRA TICKET. ayos na yun, nabubuhay na ako sa mga ganung' sitwasyon. :) haii. bibili pa ako ng cd sa kung saan. ang dami kasing tao sa music-one. promise, umaabot yung pila sa railings ng concert. HAHAHAHA. ayy grabe. ayun, kailangan nandun na kami ng maaga. para makuha namin yung pinakamalapit na chair. :) waaaah. si papa kyle, nasa harap ko lang?! :)) grabe, dream on sister! EXCITEEEDDD! teka, ano nga bang' isusuot ko? yung dilaw na dapat isusuot ko nung PNE concert? hahahha. sge, yun na lng.

a few hours before the concert...

hahahaha. saya ko. excited talaga ako eh. :] nagpunta muna kaming Cavite para ayusin yung bahay dun. tapos nagpunta kaming Festi, pra makabili ng cd ng the click five, pila kasi sa town.
pag balik ko sa town, andami nang tao. pumunta ako dun sa activity center, kasi dun kami magmemeet ni Jesha. haii grabe, nagtilian yung mga tao! wanna know why? kasi andun na yung the click five!!!! so GM agad ako. grabe, ang gwapo mo PAPA KYLE! hahahahaha. pinalitan ko na si PAPA ian. la lang. PAPA KYLE na ako. :) so... kumain muna kami, hanep nga eeh, background music yung mga tilian. ahahahaha. fries and BBQ lang kinain ko. tapos diretso na ako sa baba. nakita ko dun si Jesha. tapos nagmeet rin kami nina Reyben at Kevin. funny nga eh, kasi nagpa stamp pa sila kasi nanonood sila ng resident evil, tapos lumabas sila para dun. tapos sumlpot si Bianca. ahahahaha. celebration. :) nagpplay rin yung the click five nung mga time yun. kasi tinetest nila yung sounds. haiii. astig talagaaaa! *)tapos 5pm na. yesss. bukas na yung gate na pumapalibot sa center. kaya nakapasok na kami. kaso medyo likod kami. pero WHO CARES? concert again! the click five pa! :))

naghihintay lang kami. yung mga tao, EPAL. konting' blonde na buhok lang sumulpot sa may curtains.. WAAAAHHH! hahaha. with matching tayo pa yun. kaya nung nag start na yung concert.. may monoblocks nga, pero lahat naman tinayuan!! hanep diba?! :)) laughtrip talaga eeh. tapos yun na, playing ang playing and playing. ang gwapo talaga ni Kyle Patrick promise! :P grabe, ang astig nilaaaa! swear!! tapos yun, di masyadong katulad nung parokya concert, kasi yung gig ng pne na yun, sbrang may bond talaga eeh. eh dun sa the click five, sbrang kanta lang. but everyone was enjoying. kaso wala kaming alam na kanta. ahahahaha. pero sobrang HYPER ng lahat. graaaaabeeee. yung mga lalaki sa likod ko, sabi... "play Just The Girl dudes!" tapos biglang yun nga yung plinay! :)) meant to be eeh! tapos yun, considering na hindi si kyle yung lead ng the click five nung sikat pa yung just the girl, he sounds good. actually, better. (ayan kasi eric, iniwanan mo pa the click five). tapos lahat ng mga tao kumakanta!! grabe, ang ingay talaga! lahat pa nakatayo sa upuan! astig! so, kanta pa sila ng kanta. hanggang sa kinanta nila yung "Empty".. "here's a song about FALLING OUT OF LOVE" sabi ni Kyle baby. kakatama. ahahahaha. tapos yun, ang dami pa nilang kinanta, di ko na nga matandaan yung iba. hahahahaha. hanggang sa bigla nilang knta, "JENNY!" intro pa lang, lahat nagtitilian na eeh! tapos the whole time, everybody was so loud. lahat sila kumakanta! ahahahha. after the song, "we like it. you're very loud tonight! salamat! we like it!" sabi na naman ni papa kyle. tapos yun, tilian na naman. siguro dapat magkaron na ng tilian 101 para malaman ng mga tao ang tamang proseso ng pagtili. kasi naman, titili yung nasa likod ko, sbra! kulang na lang tumalsik yung lalamunan niya eeh! hahaha! (sinong nagsalita? parang di ako tili ng tili aah!) :)) tapos yun, huling kanta yung "Headlight Disco" hanggang sa nag bow na sila. ayan na, lumabas na kami. at HETO NA... ang RAMBOL na part... the autograph signing. paikot-ikot kami nun! sabi sa left side daw, tapos biglang sa loob ng music 1, tapos biglang stage! tulakan pa! so ayun, good thing i'm still alive. :P grabe, ang taba nung katabi ko. pero sobrang know-it-all niya. siya nga pinagtatanungan nung lahat eeh. kaso, may amoy siya. feeling ko nga dumapo sakin yung amoy niya eeh. kasi di naman mabantot kilikili ko, pero naaamoy ko siya. hahahaha. yuck. pero i don't care again. sbrang kailangan ko toh. kaya ayun, pilapila. tapos nakapasok na ako! yes! nakapag-pasign na rin ako. the first dude, he just smiled, the next one was fond of asking nicknames. next was kyle, he asked me my age.. hahahahaha. :P the next one asked my name/nickname. the last one asked names too. haiiii. ang saya talaga. buwisit yung nasa likod ko, pabigay-bigay pa ng pic kay Kyle. as if naman! dream on! :)) tapos yun, natapos na rin. i went home na. :P

Sunday, October 14, 2007

trying to hide the pain. @ 10/14/2007 09:53:00 AM

this is not like pat or kai's story. i don't hate my father. and unlike them, i don't want to hate my father. i love my father. but because of that love, it just causes more pain. if you have read my previous posts, makikita niyo na we're drifting apart. not being heard already hurts to me kapag friends ko, pano pa kaya pag sarili kong' ama diba? lagi na lang ganun. parang wala na siyang pakialam. parang friendship lang din yan eh. good and bad. he's there for the good. no, let me rephrase, he's there kung nagsisiyahan lahat. i mean with all my relatives and all. pero pag kaming four lang, or kapag kaming dalawa lang, wala. parang pasok sa isang tenga, labas sa kanila. he was never happy for me. he only listens to me kapag mali yung gagawin ko. parang "pa, pasok na ako sa cheerdance namin sa intrams. :)" or anything associated with DANCE for that matter, sasabihin niya, "sayaw na naman? ano ba gusto mo paglaki mo? dancer?" ouch yun diba. parang that's your passion you're telling him, and yet even for just once, he can't be happy for you. i miss my old dad. he changed na kasi. long before we moved here. so that made everything worse. everytime na magkkwento ako, ang saya saya ko, pero di naman siya nakikinig. kailangan ko pa sabihin yung "pa... makinig ka kasi!" tapos sasabihin niya, "oo!!" pero nagtetext siya, tatanungin ko siya kung anong huli kong' sinabi, sasabihin niya, "wag ka nga makulit!" pero, ayan, continue parin ako sa pagkkwento, just for the sake of getting it out. i don't know how i can manage to do that. and everytime i think about it, kahit nasa public, napapaluha ako. dadapo sa isip ko, "am i still his priority?, does he still love me?" ang sakit isipin na, daddy ko yan, tapos ganun yung iniisip ko. :( kaya nga i NEVER told him my plans for anything eeh. kasi he never listens, or better yet, sasabihin ko pa lang na.. "pa.. pwede bang...." biglang susulpot yung malaking "HINDI" sa bunganga niya. parang, ano yun? wala na naman. kaya, based on some experiences, so mom ko na ako nagpapaalam. pero syempre kailanagn pa rin ng approval ni Pa, kaya sigawan galore. that's it. that's how i plan everything. if you're one of my gimikera friends, there you go. the story of my plans. :) minsan naman, nasasagip ako, kasi nagpapaalam ako kay Ma, pag nasa malayong lugar si Pa. as i've told, i don't hate my father, i love him so much, that's why it hurts for me to be seeing myself/him like this. i din't know who drifted away.

two years ago, nagbakasyon yung mga pinsan ko sa bahay namin. and i kind of hated my cousin kasi siya na lang laging pinapaboran ni Pa, siya yung tama, siya yng laging kasama, ako? nasa sulok ng kwarto ko, naglalaro ng kung anu-ano. pero mahal na mahal ko pa rin yung pinsan ko na yun, kasi he took care of me, more than whatever Pa showed that time, if ever that was even care. i mean, he laughs at me when i cry when he should comfort me! he ignores my ambitions. he doesn't wanna talk to me, as i've seen. pero my cousin, he does the total opposites. i'm thankful he was still there kahit na hated him for some time.

i don't know how to get my father's attention anymore. sure, baka KSP lang ako, pero for a girl who is growing up, she needs a father just as she needs her mother. i'm not an orphan and my mother is sure as hell not a single parent. but for me, it looks like that. i don't know if i can even count on my father. i want to spend time with him, but I CAN'T! i don't know how, or why! i just want him to listen to me and be concerned. i just want to know and be assured na he's there for me. he is my parent, but i can't feel him being my father. :( i love you Pa. :(( i miss having a home. siguro that's why this place is twice as hell. there is NO FAMILY here. and NO HOME too.

"i'm going home, but to a place where i belong.."

Saturday, October 13, 2007

when a boy sings.. @ 10/13/2007 09:46:00 PM

what's with it with boys who sing? i mean, not the so-good-singer but the one sings even if he doesn't know how to. i mean, seriously.. girls always have soft spots for dudes who are sensitive. believe me, i've been there! tsaka, don't you think it's cute na kahit gaanong humiliation yung mangyari sa kanya, as long as he's proving something to you, gagawin niya?? pero of course, mas cute pa rin if a boy actually has a nice voice. :) nothing is compared to that.

why am i bringing out this topic? haha. kasi i'm listening to the soundtrack of hsm two. i know i should've gotten over the HSM drama, pero promise talaga, pag pinapakinggan ko yung mga kanta, parang ang sarap ma-inlove (as usual). three songs would probably fill the list for "the movie's most romantic songs".. the first one would probabaly be "you are the music in me", coz the song is about music and such right? kaya parang everything he does is for the girl. :) next would be "gotta go on my own way".. la lang, parang ang sarap ng break up pag ganyan yung ost. lalo na nung part na may lines na toh..

T: "what about us? what about everything we've been through?"
G: "what about trust?"
T: "you know i never wanted to hurt you."
G: "what about me?"
T: "what am i supposed to do?"
G: "i gotta leave but i'll miss you."

and.. (with the matching emotional eyes na near teary effect na) ♥
G: "ive got to move one and be who i am.."
T: "what about us?"
G: "i just don't belong here, i hope you understand"
T: "i'm trying to understand"
G: "we might find a place in this world someday.. but at least for now.."
T: "i want you to stay.."
G: "i gotta go on my own way."

♥♥♥ ang sweet talaga. parang ang sarap damahin na mahal na mahal ka talaga nung guy na tipong ayaw ka niyang mawala sa kanya. like you're the most important person for him. haiii grabe, kelan kaya toh noh? ahahhaha.

lastly, pinaka the best (for me), yung "everyday".. kasi ang astig nung part nung movie na toh eeh. parang troy was singing alone tapos narinig niya yung boses no gabriela. ito kasi yung part na nagbalikan sila. basta nakakainlove yung first part, yung medyo slow pa, tapos nung nag switch na sa up-beat, maganda pa rin; time to celebrate.

hahahaha. ang sarap talaga ng feeling na mainlove noh. :) ♥
especially if you're in love with a guy who would give you everything and would caress your tortured heart na nagho-hope ng 'someone' na magrereplace sa mga unwanted memories nito. ang sarap ng feeling ng magmahal. pero mas masarap pa rin talaga yung feeling na minamahal. ;)

friends over fakers ;) @ 10/13/2007 09:32:00 PM

my bestfriend and i went through a lot of problems this year. but looking back from it, we're still pretty tight, though we don't get to be with each other that much. i miss this girl so much. it's really hard dealing with this situation. i don't know where i could end up with this situation. i don't know. i've been a bitch to my best buds lately. i don't go there, why? because i can't. i don't know how. and i'm sooooooo not allowed. or at least, the folks no listen. as usual.
it's really a piece of crap. i don't wanna argue with my friends. i love them so much, and i don't intend to quit or ruin our friendship. i'm just tired of seeing them like that. i'm tired of saying "di ako sure eeh" everytime they ask me when i can go there (Augustus st.). it's really hard dealing with these stuff especially if i'm a kid at high school (which is VERY much applicable). i don't know how to deal with these stuff anymore.

it was really a burden to explain, explain and explain more. i don't know how to say things right anymore. i always end up starting some fights or some quarrels. i used to get out of these things alive. yes, back when i was having the time of my life when i was a kid. i love my friends so much to hurt them; to see them like that, or probably even seeing a happy moment without "me" in it. it's really hard to get back on the track again.

look at it like this.. example, on a song.. when you have your favorite line, the more the song plays, the longer it is to rewind the it. it gets harder and bitter every minute. later this evening, my bestfriend and i finally opened up the topic. yes, we had harsh words and we had some misunderstanding. we got cold and we sent bitter text messages, but that was it. we ended up saying sorry and understanding each other. we were just in our "puzzled point". i know there is something to be puzzled, but there are also reasons.

i really am thankful to God for giving me my bestfriend. she's really heaven sent. if that could've been another person, we could've said our goodbyes, trashed our memories and deleted his/her contacts in our cellphones and send some angry messages to him/her the next day. some people just tend to be warfreaks--warfreaks at the point that they don't wanna point out their point and how it would shape you to be a better person, but they wanna point out that they are right; that they're better than you. it really gets ugly when it goes to that situation. i'm thankful that i have really good tastes for friends. people who are fun, but not fun with the badness that accompanies it. good yet fun friends in short. :)

i'm really really sorry for acting as if i'm the right one. i know i should've put more effort in it, but believe me, there's no more when my dad says his "ops ops ops, hindi pwede." but i hope i can make it up to you guys someday. i know i've missed out a lot, hope you forgive me guys. but please, do understand. i know you're tired of waiting and understanding, but i really can;t do anything about it. i could run away, but that would make me a bad person right? not exactly what you influenced me to be. just remember that i love you guys so much. and bes, thanks for always staying with me and sticking up for me. i don't know what i could've become if you weren't there for me ever since.

thanks for everything berks.. tk...
i'm sorry too.

sober. @ 10/13/2007 07:35:00 PM

'tek yan. di ko na sila maintindihan. it was really a great night last night and i'm not regretting that i went to southville to watch the concert. but, i'm pretty messed up with my friends saying things and saying everything that's on their mind about this situation. i'm not quite sure if i still have the soul to face them when i see them again. i can't possibly think of ways on how to go there without having difficulties. i mean, if i could just make them understand. this "new-house" thing is bullshit. i am not happy. and i am totally messed up. but i can't change this. they told me i can't. before pa lang, i told them that i can't be sure about friday nights (the night where TK would spend the night together). i really can't promise anyone anything yet. especially if you have a father that changes his mind on the last minute, who doesn't listen to ANYTHING you're saying, and who probably doesn't care that you're alive or something. but i love my father. even though i spend most of my times talking to him (or talking to myslef) and pretend he's deaf because he doesn't listen or he tries to ignore. ANYWAY. believe it or not, i'm really trying my best to do anything i could, but as i've said.. i have no chances of talking without shouting. and of course, more shouting, less chances. it all goes round and round and round. mygosh. i'm tired. i really am. i don't know what to do in my life. that could probably be the practical reason why i spend my time at ATC with school friends. or hang out at some gigs or something, coz i need to get out of here, quietly. i want to get out of here. back to some secret places i went to before. i don't know who to trust anymore. i don't know what to do. i've stumbled so many times and somehow i managed to get up. most of those comeback were because i had my friends behind my back. but now, with or without them, i am not quite sure if i can make it once again. i know i can. i know i should. but i'm afraid.

crap game. @ 10/13/2007 06:49:00 PM

yuck naman. NCAA vs. UAAP? no way. eeh nung tinignan ko nga scores, tambak ncaa eh. nu ba yan. what the hell are these games for anyway? buti pa kung UAAP lang eeh. intense pa. haii. speaking of, miss ko na yung UAAP days. sobrang saya talaga eeh. parang every week, debate sa mga previous games eeh. naalala ko pa yung mga first looks kay CHRIS TIU. ahaha. napaka perpekto talaga nung lalaking yun. promise. :) tapos there's rico maierhofer. ahahahaha. down right hotties. kahit rivals. :]

promise talaga. sbrang hang over toh. gusto ko uli manood ng uaap. grabe, nagwawala kaming lahat pag umaga eeh. tapos nung nanalo dlsu over admu, wala talaga kaming gana nung araw na yon. bumagsak ako sa isang quiz. kamusta naman dba. hahahha. tapos nung finals na, sobrang sigawan kami dito sa bahay. grabe talaga. tapos nabanas pa ako nung di ko napanood yung last game.

buhay nga naman. pasikot-sikot. :]
next year na lang ulit. sana magkaron ulit ng next year si chris tiu. ahaha.:) talagang ganun eeh.

new girl. @ 10/13/2007 05:28:00 PM

finally. makakapag move on na rin ako sa mga previous blogs ko kung magiinsert lang ako ng 6 new blogs. at least di ko na makikita dati kong' blogs. :)
yun lang naman lagi kong' inatupag nung summer. pero cute rin naman. ahahaha.
sorry rin kung la pa masyadong pics aah. super empty bat kasi yung digicam. go to this site na lang if ever you want to see my pics, videos, events and previous blogs.. ♥♥♥♥ salamat. :)

cheers for the best gig ever! @ 10/13/2007 05:21:00 PM

kung nabasa niyo yung review ko para dito, haii grabe, ang astig talaga. :) wala akong maisip na rating for this. anyway.. nasa car na kaming tatlo (ako, lexxi, kaii) and on our way to the concert.
nasa southville na..
grabe, nosebleed ata dun. pero who cares. concert ang ipinunta namin dun! nakakilala pa kami ng new friend. si Ara. friend ni lexxi. tska nakita namin si Biboy. todo tago si kaii eeh!
ang astig eeh. something na wala ang seton: mga stalls na pwedeng bilhan ng pagkain bago mag concert. :)) nakita pa nga namin si kuya jimini eeh. awww. and he remembers us. anyway, ayun. pila na for the entrance. ahahaha, ang tanga pa nga nung security eeh. kasi no foods and drinks allowed inside DAW!! kasi naman, kitang kita na nga yung kinain namin na fries, di pa rin nakita!! ahaha. tapos astig yung stamp eh. nakalagay... "wow" :)) so pasok na kami sa loob ng gym.
nasa loob na ng gym..
may hip-hop contest muna diba? kaya ayun... astig yung "intensity". meron talaga silang white masks eeh. tapos blonde na buhok. yung nasa gitna ngang lalaki kamukha ng pinagsamang raven at yael. ahahah. 'stig.
ang galing nung hip-hop contest na yon. sbrang galing nila. oo, nanalo intensity. :)
tapos sabi nung host, three performances daw. eh pne at francis m lang nakalagay sa ticket. so akala namin si gloc 9 (kasi, the day before the concert, napag-usapan namin nina kai at justin yun.) pero moonstar 88 pala. pero ayos lang din! ang astig nung bago nilang vocs. pati mga kinanta nila!

"para toh sa mga magkasama lagi pero ndi naman sila. para sa mga hindi sigurado kung sila ba talaga
grabe, ang adik talaga nung sinabi nila na yon. ang daming tinamaan eh. tapos kanta kanta sila. nga pala, astig yung gitara niya eeh. :)
..waiting..
..waiting..
sabay "francis m, in the house!" ayun. finally, nandun na. start na! nakakainis lang yung mga batok nung nasa harap namin. parang mga squa' eeh. haiii. "bastusan naman!" :)) so nagwawala sila. pero we don't care. that's francis m!! kaya ayun.. lalalalalal.. kanta pa.. kanta pa.. kanta. astiiiig. pero di na talaga mapakali singit ko kasi gusto ko na manood ng parokya ni edgar! so di ko na palalawakin pa yung ky francis m, bsta astig!
parokya na!!
addiikk. nung nakita ko si chito miranda na nandun sa gilid ng stage, napasigaw ako.. "si chitoooo!" ahahahahahaha. tapos nagpunta na siya ng stage. tapos sabi niya "mga kids, punta kayo dito sa harap (kasi naman, the whole time, nakaupo lang talaga kami sa mga chairs na malayo sa stage. talagang pang concert. ndi pang gig) tapos sabi pa ni chito "sabi ko kasi sayang naman, concert toh diba. kaya punta kayo dito sa harap dali. basta nag promise ako sa kanila na hindi magiging magulo. okay? wag niyo lang pahihirapan yung security." ang astig dibaa?? so nasa medyo harap kami kasi super marathon yung ginawa namin. naka indian seat lang kami dun, parang mga bata. tapos si chito, umuupo sa amp parang teacher. kaya astig talaga yun gig na yon. unang kanta nila, buloy. naalala ko tuloy si ehme. :) so kanta kanta. ang astig talaga eeh. may pinaikot na bottle kasi sabi ni chito, "sino nauuhaw? yung totoo aah. share share tayo dito aah." tapos kung sino sino uminom dun sa bottle. ang astgg eeh. tapos yung pinakahuling uminom laughtrip eeh! :)) parang talagang desperado sa tubig. so the concert continues. bglang sumulpot si vinci! :)) tapos lahat kami sumisigaw ng "yes yes show!" una nilang kinanta picha pie. tapos yes yes show. nawalan ako ng hininga dun kakasunod eeh. tapos bglang bumalik ulit si francis m. tapos kinanta nila yung "Lando". tapos nung chorus na (rap part) sumulpot si Gloc 9!!!!!! kaya sobrang naging astig yung gabi kasi ang dami talagang surprises! after Lando, kinanta na nila yung bagsakan! addiiik talaga eeh! tapos last song for the night, "kaleidoscope world". everyone was there on the stage. tapos lahat ng audience nakatayo na. sobrang memorable talaga. nung tapos na yung kanta, sabi ni chito.. "the best toh pare! the best talaga toh!" tska "sorry po kung naging magulo na tsaka tumayo na lahat nung huli pero ayos lang naman diba? nag enjoy naman tayong lahat sa rock n' roll concert na toh!" grabe talaga. ang lupet!! so nag goodnight na. at nag uwian na. 1o:59pm natapos yung concert.
lumabas na kami ng southville, naghihintay.nakita pa nga namin yung "intensity boys" eeh. sbrang titig na titig talaga ako. ahahaha!!

tama talaga yung sinabi ni kaii. "grabe noh kamshi, at least bago tayo mamatay, nakapanood na tayo ng one of the legends."
it was really more than expected. everybody was screaming and having the time of their lives. best gig ever.

nakauwi na ako. still with the hang overs with me. at di ako makapagtigil magkwento kay pa nung nasa car kami. so kumain kami sa chowking tapos dun ko kwinento. :) ahahahha.
greatest gig ever talaga. :) more than what i felt nung callalily concert.
[hip-hop dance contest + moonstar 88 + francis magalona + gloc 9 + parokya ni edgar = love]
thanks tlga sa bday gift na yun lexxi. i love you so much!

broke, pero masaya -sa town! @ 10/13/2007 05:10:00 PM

bago mag concert, nagpunta muna kaming town kasi walang na akong ibang ride papuntang southville eh. so nagtown na lang kami ni kamshi. dapat kasama namin si lexxi eeh, kasi di na siya nakasama. kaya ayun. mga 1:36 ata ako umalis ng bahay. nsa sm pa si kaii. so chillax ako sa starbs. ahaha. nakita ko pa si ate jamie nun. hinihintay niya yung friend niya, so sabay muna kami kumain. tas umalis na siya, dumating si kaii. perfect timing. :) tapos nag-gala na kami. ahaha. nakasalubong namin si k.cadiz pati sina ate zen. ahaahaha. tpos ayun, nag window shopping pa kami. tas nakasalubong namin si justin. ahahaha. so more more more window shopping. hanggang sa napagtripan naming gumawa ng scandal. :)) nag punta kaming rustan's tapos nagsukat sukat kami ng mga damit. ahaahaha. tapos may pictures pa kami. ayos!! ang astig talaga eeh. tapos hinatid na namin si justin kina lacson, jana at meggi. tapos on our way tinulak ako ni kaii sa isang lalaking may hawak ng tubig. ahaahha. (lupet eh noh, may tubig talagang dala.) ayun.. boooogg. nabunggo ko siya at nabasa ako. :D ahahahah. tapos sabi nung guy nung umalis na kami, "ayan, nabasa ka tuloy." haaaaiii. nice going kaii. :)) ang lakas talaga ng katripan namin kahapon. tapos yun, nagtitingin na lang kami ng cellphone. tanong tanong ng presyo, akala mo bibili. ahaha. so yun na. pumunta na kami ni kaii para magbihis for the concert. tas hinintay namin si lexxi sa quickly. :)

ps. wala akong nagastos. for the first time. :P pero i had fun with justin and kaii.

home sweet home. @ 10/13/2007 05:05:00 PM

hi and welcome to my blog, once again. kung nabasa nio yung multiply blog ko, sorry. pero tinamad na akong gumawa nang bago kung pwede ko na lang palitan ng features at template yung blog ko.. diba? kaya ayun. sorry.
some of my links, (like ate iman's) are not yet updated. nag move na kasi sila sa ibang place sa web. kaya i'm still trying to find where they are. hahahaha. uhhm. hope you like the new place. not so dark para maiba naman diba. :) sorry kung ngayon na lang ulit naka pag post. wala talaga akong gana nun. but i'm back to blogging! hooraayy! drop by more frequently okay? imo-move ko na lang yung previous blogs ko from multiply. ahahaha. search for import button. kung wala, copy paste!! thanks ulit. :) enjoy your read!